When Work Ignores Real Life

Jasmine Carter

Alright, welcome back to You're Still on Mute. If you caught our last episode, you remember Nicole trying — and failing — to escape for a real vacation. But, honestly, today’s story? It, uh… just… I mean, I can’t even—Laura, you wanna set this up?

Laura Simmons

This next one made me gasp. Like, full-on audible gasp, in a public place. Barista just… stared at me. But I couldn’t help it. So, this email comes from a listener in Atlanta, subject line: “My boss scheduled a Zoom during my grandma’s funeral.”

Jasmine Carter

Whew. First—you have our condolences. For the loss of your grandma, and for your boss honestly. This is…all kinds of wrong.

Laura Simmons

Yeah, and just to read a bit of what this listener wrote— “Hey Laura and Jasmine: My grandmother passed away. We were close, and I took bereavement to fly home, told my manager every way I could—I’m out, here’s my calendar block, emailed, Slacked, project board, the works. So why did my manager schedule a mandatory team call, right smack in the middle of the funeral? And then Slack me ‘Are you joining?’ when I didn’t show up? I even replied, I’m literally at the funeral. And he goes, ‘Can you catch the second half of the call?’ The second half. Like it’s Netflix and you just hit play later.”

Jasmine Carter

Oh no. Nope. My blood pressure spiked. Like—what? I want to straight-up fight him. There’s crossing a line and then there’s...this.

Laura Simmons

Exactly. What about “funeral” doesn’t compute for people? It’s not grabbing a sandwich. It’s not like, “Oh, I’ll just dial in from the pews.” It’s an actual ceremony, a big family moment—come on.

Jasmine Carter

And it’s not just some random day—his grandmother's funeral. That isn’t an “optional grief” moment—that is family. That’s a final goodbye. If someone misses that for a spreadsheet… I–I can’t, Laura.

Laura Simmons

I know. And you know, nine out of ten times, those “urgent” meetings are just status updates that, I swear, could’ve waited or been an email the next week. There’s rarely any true emergency.

Jasmine Carter

What gets me is the whole fake-caring vibe. Like, these same managers send all-staff emails about “respecting work-life balance,” and then suddenly forget you’re a person when you’re actually dealing with life. Makes no sense.

Laura Simmons

Oh, and if you don’t answer within ten minutes? Suddenly it’s “Just circling back on this” or “Quick ping,” or my favorite—“Is everything okay?” No, Brenda, everything is not okay!

Jasmine Carter

Nooo, Brenda. We are not okay, and you asking for a Q2 sales deck at my grandma’s burial is not helping.

Laura Simmons

To this listener, you showed restraint. I would've—honestly, I can’t say, we’ll keep it podcast-friendly! But not sure I’d have your calm.

Jasmine Carter

Can you imagine sending a photo of the casket with the caption “Still unavailable”? That’s the mood.

Laura Simmons

(laughs) Just a timestamp and a coffin emoji. Savage but honestly deserved in this situation.

Jasmine Carter

To every boss who has ever thought about Slacking someone at a funeral: Please don’t. Let folks grieve. Stop trying to pull people into “collab huddles” while they’re saying goodbye to family.

Laura Simmons

Absolutely. Treat your people like human beings. It goes further than all the “employee appreciation” swag in the world. When people know you care, they actually show up for you.

Jasmine Carter

That’s it. And, you know—if any of y’all listening have your own horror story, or you got hit with tone-deaf scheduling, drop us a line. We wanna hear it, so we can help air it all out together.

Laura Simmons

There’s actual research, by the way, showing just how much this sort of tone-deaf leadership crushes morale. Like, you see it in the turnover rates at some of these big tech firms—folks burning out, bouncing as soon as they can find something more humane.

Jasmine Carter

Oh yeah, and not just tech. You see it in finance, startups, anywhere leadership thinks the only thing that matters is “the work.” If you never acknowledge real-life stuff—loss, mental health, whatever—your team will catch on real quick. Loyalty goes out the window.

Laura Simmons

Exactly. I actually dealt with this firsthand back in my corporate comms days. There was this company-wide email, super clinical, all about new deadlines. No mention that our team lead just had a major health crisis. Someone leaked that internal email, and it just—went viral. Trust tanked for months. Everyone was like, “Wow, we really are just cogs in a machine.”

Jasmine Carter

And you can’t recover from that overnight. People talk. People remember when employers show zero empathy—and it’s like, why would you give your best to someone who wouldn’t notice if you vanished, except for a meeting invite?

Laura Simmons

Totally. We talked in a previous episode about petty stuff—micromanagement, endless check-ins, PTO drama—but honestly, the real damage comes from this bigger pattern. If leadership doesn’t truly see their people, all the perks and pizza parties don’t mean anything.

Jasmine Carter

It’s honestly why so many folks are ready to leave at the drop of a hat. It’s not just about pay. It’s about dignity, respect, and—well, being allowed to have a life.

Jasmine Carter

So let’s flip it. There’s actually hope! There are some companies—and not all of them are tiny startups—who get it right. Like, you see tech companies making bereavement policies super public or just… encouraging flexible scheduling so people aren’t terrified to ask for a day off when real life happens.

Laura Simmons

Yeah. Some leaders are actually setting the bar higher: clear policies for bereavement, telling teams up front—“If you’ve got something going on, block your calendar. No questions asked. We’ll work around it.” That signals real respect, not “don’t worry, we value you—*unless you inconvenience us.”

Jasmine Carter

And y’all listening, maybe share—what does respect at work mean to you? What has a manager done that really showed they cared about your boundaries? Or, how have you advocated for yourself? We love your tips, too.

Laura Simmons

If you manage people, a couple quick pointers: First, formalize your bereavement policy. Don’t make people ask for basics. Second, encourage using those calendar blocks, and actually honor them. Last—invite open convos. If someone says, “I need this time,” take it seriously. It’s not complicated.

Jasmine Carter

You’d be amazed what a little trust does. People remember when you show up for them in the hard moments. And they’ll turn around and show up for you, too.

Laura Simmons

Couldn’t have said it better. And if you’re out there dealing with corporate chaos—there’s a better way. Come tell us your story. We’ll keep fighting the good fight right here, every week.

Jasmine Carter

Alright Laura, that’s a wrap for today. Thanks for getting real with me, as always.

Laura Simmons

Always, Jasmine. See you next time—and remember, take your day. Ignore the Slacks. Bye, everyone!

Jasmine Carter

See y’all next episode. Stay loud, and stay off mute.